Grandma’s Letters

Grandma’s Letters

My grandmother was the first person in our family to attend and graduate from college. As the daughter of first generation immigrants from Italy, she was proud. And so when each of her grandchildren went off on their way after high school, she began to write her famous letters. Famous because each of us received the same letter every week. She would sit and make hand-written copies for all five of us. These letters became famous with my roommates and friends too. They usually came with a check written out for $5.00; in the memo, “For Kotex and candy.” Often, grandma took care of the candy part, tossing a few floating red vines into the envelope. To this day, I love red vines. But only if they’re stale, as after a long journey unwrapped in an envelope traveling across the state of California. Some weeks she might include newspaper clippings, my horoscope, a prayer card from someone’s funeral, old family photographs with her handwriting on the back, a playbill from the latest community theater production she attended. Every single one, including their diverse contents, went into a box that has traveled with me from California to Michigan to Pennsylvania and back. 

Re-reading these letters now, after life’s ups and downs, navigating joys and losses, I’m struck by the wisdom I’m ready to hear now. As a college student, these letters felt like home. Reminders that although I was far away, my foundation was still very much intact and alive and waiting for me. At times this felt suffocating, like the obligation of family encroaching upon my budding freedom. But mostly, it just felt comforting, like the soft nubs of an ancient blanket doused in department store perfume. Reading them today, I feel fortified; part of a legacy of strong women breaking boundaries and charting new courses unbounded by society’s restrictions and expectations. In finding my own voice, I am not alone; grandma paved the way. In life, her bigness embarrassed me. Now I hope to be big like her; loud like her. “Be a bother!” she would always say. 

“In life, be a thunderstorm – 

            Be dangerous – 

            Be unpredictable – 

            And make a big noise!”

• Mary Jo Reading